Sex is not only performance based; it’s about how two people connect, communicate and sometimes confusion. In a new episode of the Balls Deep podcast, Dr. Joe Pazona and co-host Cat Williams answer a number of spicy relationship and sexual health questions posed by real-life listeners. Let’s summarize the most important points from this sex Q&A session:
"We Used to Have Sex Everyday. Now It's Once a Week. Are We Broken?"
To put it simply, absolutely not.
It is absolutely normal for one’s sexual life to change over the years. When you’re dating, things are spicy and passionate. But then life hits, with the demands of a job, kids, and stress. If you have transitioned from sex everyday to a few times a week, it does not mean there is an issue with the relationship.
So what does matter? Alignment.
If both people are content with the number of times intimate relations are occurring, good. One partner feeling disengaged? That’s a signal to have a conversation. Not about numbers, but about what both feel concerning the relationship.
💡 Relationship Tip: It’s not about hitting a magic number. Both partners should feel truly satisfied, both emotionally and physically.
Reduced Libido After Children: Possible Underlying Causes
A listener wanted to know if it's “normal” for his wife to not have a sex drive 2 years after having children. “Normal” isn’t the right word, but “common” absolutely fits.
After giving birth, women go through a significant hormonal imbalance, physical fatigue, and often a mental as well as emotional overload. The libido is bound to suffer.
Instead of assuming something is “wrong” try to have a calming and genuine conversation. Ask her about her feelings and try to go deeper, not only physically but also emotionally. She might be overwhelmed, exhausted, or dealing with a hormonal imbalance or deeper medical issues.
🧠 Mental Note: If it’s an ongoing concern for either partner and there is ongoing distress, it is time to seek professional help.
“I’m Not Attracted to My Spouse Anymore. Is That Normal?”
This one is difficult and intense.
If your partner has stopped taking care of themselves and you feel less attracted, that doesn’t make you a bad person. Physical attraction matters. Especially when it changes over time.
Attraction is about more than looks; it encompasses effort, connection, and mutual support.
Cat and Dr. Pazona recommend making wellness a shared journey. Walking together, cooking healthier meals, and even going to the gym. Health is easier and more enjoyable when it is a couple’s thing.
💪 Relationship Hack: Rather than criticizing your partner’s habits, invite them to become healthier alongside you, not just for looks, but for improved energy, enhanced mood, and connection.
Erectile Dysfunction? It Might Be a Bigger Deal Than You Think
One woman, concerned for her husband’s wellbeing, was worried that his erectile dysfunction was affecting their marriage. But he stubbornly refused to admit it, insisting it was “just stress.” Dr. Pazona drops a truth bomb here: ED can be an early warning sign of heart disease.
Why? Because the same blood vessels that supply blood to the penis are also connected to your heart. If things aren’t working in the bedroom, it might be the first clue that something bigger is wrong.
👨⚕️ Doctor's Orders: ED isn’t just about performance; it’s about your health. Don't ignore it and get checked. There are great, effective treatments available, but only if you confront the problem.
Let’s Talk About Antidepressants & Sex Drive
We all know how SSRIs such as Zoloft and Prozac treat depression, but they do come with some low libido and orgasmic difficulties as side effects.
If this is a concern for both partners, should you go to the doctor together? Dr. Pazona says that’s a personal preference based on the couple, but the most crucial aspect is addressing the reason for concern.
You do not have to endure it in silence. And no, mental and sexual concerns are not embarrassing topics to bring up with a physician.
🗣️ Communication Suggestion: Be gentle and warm if your spouse struggling with intimacy is on antidepressants. There are various other medications and methods that are effective.
Premature Ejaculation: It’s Treatable (No, Seriously)
Dr. Pazona says it’s common for a spouse to withdraw intimacy if they are experiencing intimacy issues and it’s totally treatable.
Premature ejaculation is not usually associated with more serious health concerns, but it does take a toll on how a person views themself, their relationships, and overall sexual contentment.
But the silver lining? You are in luck. There are effective and safe methods for treatment, and you can always trust a urologist to guide you with the available options in a very private manner.
✨ Sexual Health Fact: You don’t need to “just deal with it.” You deserve a rewarding and fulfilling sex life. You can get help and recover intimacy.
So… How Often Should You Have Sex in a Healthy Relationship?
Dr. Pazona and Cat do not provide a blanket answer and that is very much the point. It is whether you and your partner are comfortable with the frequency.
Be it once a week or once a day, alignment, communication, and connection are the goals.
🙌 Pro Tip: Don’t gauge your relationship based on someone else's sex life. Gauge it with how strongly connected you and your partner feel.
Final Thoughts: We Should All Be Able To Have Such Conversations
This episode is a reminder that sex, health and relationship conversations do not deserve to be labeled as taboo. Things like low libido, ED, antidepressants, or even attraction are topics that real couples deal with day in and day out.
Sexual health is essential, and often serves as an indicator of your overall health. If something feels off, discuss it with your partner, then with your physician.
In this sex Q&A we’ve answered some of the most common questions like how often should you have sex in a healthy relationship. Are you or your partner struggling with premature ejaculation? Check our Dr. Pazona’s top secrets to fixing premature ejaculation!
